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Showing posts from January, 2013

Griefs Journey

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At this time of year I think about the small memories that I have of Riley, leading up to his birthday. Not saying I don't think about him all the time but I think more about teasured moments I don't want to forget. I try not to dwell on the memories that I will never have with him as I don't want to consume my mind with things that are then going to lessen the memories that I do have. When you loss a baby at birth all that you have is your memories of pregnancy, birth and the grieving journey.

Grief is like a roller coaster, in the early days (when I say early days I mean the first year really), everything is raw. There were many days I just felt EMPTY, I had no words, I had no love to give, I had no energy, I felt like my heart was being squeezed to the point where you can only see it pumping ever so slowly.

There are some memories which are significant to not just me but to others, photos they have seen, items that they made, meals and kind words that they have share…

How do I train them?

I want to know how do I train my kids to do as I ask them?
Yes Mum I will have a shower without a fight, would be music to my ears and nose right now. I don't think I'm asking to much of you to have a shower when every time you lift your arms I can smell BO which should be coming from a Man that has not worn deoderant for a week and works in the blazing hot sun. Your stench takes my breath away. I love you and even if you stink I will hold you a little longer and give you a cuddle, I will sneek in and watch you sleep but please it really is not too much to ask for you to shower every day...
And by the way jumping in the pool is not having a shower!!!