Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Creating memories when you're not here

Every second of a memory is so important when you don't have many. Three and a half years ago the heartache was too much, I couldn't understand how all the hopes and dream all the plans we had made had suddenly changed. All the things that we wanted to do, all the memories that we thought that we would have, all gone in a moment which defines the biggest memory of my life.

We have changed, we have grown, we have added to our family but still I have to keep your memory alive. I want to create more memories that include you but how can a do that when you are not in my arms? How can your sisters have memories of you, other then photos? 

When we were in Sydney for the school holidays the girls asked to go to Riley's grave to see where his box was under the dirt. I couldn't take them because although it has been three years his grave stone had not been set. It sounds awful, like we waited years but this is not the case. We knew he was there, but we don't believe his spirit is there he is with us always. We know that we will be a family again some day.
Riley was laid to rest with my wonderfully loving grandparents, I envision then holding Riley tight never wanting to let him go. Because the three of them are in together it has taken us some time to coordinate the whole plot headstone thing. I think we were really lucky to have been able to put Riley with Nan and Gaga (my grandfather). Nan had only passed away six months prior and my Mum being an only child and still grieving has not ordered the settings when Riley died. I'm glad she had put it off, sometimes these things just happen for a reason. We finally ordered it in January but due to bad weather and stone masons not being in any hurry it has taken till now to finally have it finished. 
Last week as the world celebrated the birth of a new prince I get a text with an image that I have waited for, our sons name etched in stone. Another memory for us to keep, a place our daughters can visit. 

When I looked at this for the first time where was no sadness, there was that emptiness again. I told David I wish there were more words, but now I have had time to let it all sink in I actually wish there was more numbers. Just a day would be enough...

Monday, July 15, 2013

Poppy's Birthday

I'm finally getting around to transferring my photos from Poppy's birthday in May. Now being the wonderful Mum that I am, I can remember her Birthday like it was yesterday and can give a detail description of what she got and how she loved all her presents. This is not actually the case but with Poppy you could give her an empty box for her birthday and a plate of sausages and she would be happy.

My Dear Creative Crazy, most of the time loud and annoying Poppy, I hope you change the world with your amazing personality. I hope you never change your spirit for fun and adventure and for once it would be nice if you could let us all sleep in on the weekend. Happy 6th Birthday beautiful girl

About Me

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I'm a stay at home mum to three beautiful girls and one angel boy which inspire me to be a better person every day. My Blog is about our life and suviving the up and downs of raising a family and the love and loss that come along for the journey.