When we lost Riley two years ago I was handed a bear that was donated from another family that had also lost a baby, 'Baby Dean', this bear meant so much to me to know that I was not alone I was not the only one to feel this emptiness, to feel that my world had been ripped apart and I would never be able to put it back together again.
Dave and I the night that we delivered Riley clung to each other and clung to this bear, like it was our child that we wanted to hold so much. He gave us something to be able to hold as we walked out of the hospital empty handed when we should have been carrying our beautiful baby boy.
Soon after I decided that I wanted to use the experience and pain to help others, I wanted to make a positive memory of Riley and all the good that he could do in this world just by being my son. I know I had a task at hand and that it would never end. In the depth of sorrow I contacted Bears of Hope to connect with other parents which had experienced the same p…
Well that didn't go as expected, another three months of no driving. It was so upsetting, all I wanted was to be able to get my family back on track and that couldn't happen. The last three months has been crappy but we can't change it we have to wait out the next three months and get on with it.
I've looked at the bus timetable and I can catch a bus to some shops and get the girls to a theme park during the school holidays. We can reflect on the last few months and work out what needs to be changed to make it better for us as a family and what I can do for myself to break down the isolation.
I just got so excited and now I feel disappointment....
As Charlotte from Charlottes web says
Chin up, chin up Everybody loves a happy face Wear it, share it It'll brighten up the darkest place Twinkle, sparkle Let a little sunshine in You'll be on the right side Looking at the bright side Up with your chinny chin chin, Chin up, chin up Put a little laughter in your eyes Brave it, …
The excitement is bubbling over, today is my last day hopefully of being stuck inside these four walls. Three months without a license has been difficult not only for me but for the girls and Dave. This is the second time I have had to give up it up due to seizures but the first time since having kids. It is so different this time.
The first time I wasn't allowed to drive for 6 months but at the time I was living with my parents, didn't have kids, lived near the train station and worked, so the need to drive was limited. I could walk to the train to get to work and then on the weekend Dave and I would spend time together doing young love couple stuff, you know actually wanting to be together.
Now I have three kids, we had school holidays, groceries that need to be brought, all the things you have to do to get ready for school, weeks of wet weather, a baby that needed to be weighed regularly plus all the normal stuff that you need to so as a Mum. The girls have had to walk to s…
Saturday was the day to see David's family, we invited ourselves and everyone else around to Gaz and Crystal's new house for lunch. The girls newest Aunty, Aunty Jen with Josephine. Monique and Aunty Jen Harrison 8mths old giving Josephine a cuddle. He was very interesting in her and kept coming over to her to check her out.
Grandma Evelyn was very busy moving house but made sure she saw the girls for cuddles.
Saturday night was a 50th Birthday Party for Piggy, I can't believe I'm old enough to have friends having 50th birthday parties. It was great timing that his party was on when we went down as we got to catch up with lots of friends at one place. Adopted Uncle Chrish Dave enjoying being with friends I love these three people so much. Chrish, Emma and Cameron (Emma's Husband, which puts up with our big phone bills each month). Next trip to Sydney won't be for a new months so anyone that wants to come up for a visit the airbed is waiting for you.
A super fast trip to Sydney to show off the newest member of our family.
Firstly my family.... My sister Josephine was born on my sisters birthday, it is special that they share this day. When i told my sister that i was pregnant with Josephine she said 'maybe she will be born my birthday', but so did two of my sisters in laws that have birthdays at the start of december. Monique and her cousin Natanne. Moni misses her cousin lots and each time we go to sydney she has such a great time playing with her. Beautiful Princess Cherinda My brother teaching Josephine to poke her tongue out. My Mum never wanted to let go of Josephine or Monique and Poppy. I know that she misses them so much.
All the cousins range from 18 yrs to Josephine at 12 weeks. This photo is now out of date with my brother and sister in law welcoming their little man Hunter last week.
I'm three months old now. I can sleep throught the night which my Mum is happy about but I try and give her one night time feed once or twice a week as I know she loves to have that quiet middle of the night feed with me. I look around much more and I really don't like it when this family just leave me lying around without giving me the attention that I deserve. But with a little cry I can sure make then come running to play with me. I love looking at faces and trying to talk. I still sleep next to my Mummy in my bassinet, its cozy in there.
In the last month I have also had my first plane ride to visit some of my Aunties and Uncles in Sydney. I only have one Aunty now which I haven't met yet, sorry Aunty Suzie Tassie is just to far away for a weekend trip.
8yrs ago it was pouring with rain and I married my best friend. We didn't have any grand plans of what our life would be like, how many kids we would have or when we would have them, we just jumped in feet first and said no matter what happens we are in this together...
On another note I have aged so much in eight years, I blame that on the kids.
We were very excited to see the Great Grand Cummings when they made their tour of Australia to see all of their 33 Great Grand Children. What a fantastic legacy! First stop in their tour from Perth was Adelaide, then Sydney, once in Sydney they saw three of the Cummings Great Grand Children that were born last year. Plus they got to witness Neil (Dave's brother) and Jen get married in the temple. From Sydney that boarded a ship to cruise around New Zealand to celebrate their Wedding Anniversary and then arrived in Brisbane. Josephine was the last of the Great Grand Children that they were to meet. It was lovely to have them in our home for the day and share with the our life. Whilst they were here they asked David if they could look at Riley's album. I unfortuately was not in the room at the time but I know David appreciated them sharing with them their own lost of a child at infancy and how they wished that they too could have been able to hold on for a little longer, to have…