Three Princesses in Waiting

My last post was about the lead up to Riley's birthday and how hard this day can be but on reflection it is not the day itself that is hard it is actually the lead up. The lead up to a day like any other, a day which doesn't have birthday cake or party celebrations. A day without presents or phone calls from family singing Happy Birthday. It is the realisation that Riley's Birthday is like any other day but my heart just feels so much heavier not having him here. I do have three wonderful princesses which I know will always keep the day special in their own little ways. Miss Poppy asked if she could have Riley's presents as he was not here to open them, he wouldn't mind she says I will just send him a balloon to catch. Last year on Riley's birthday we went out to dinner and we did the same again this year. I can see it being something that we always do. The girls wanted to get balloons and release them for Riley but we didn't get to do that, with school...

The days leading up to Riley's birthday are hard, I can't see it ever being easy. I can't imagine in 30 or 50 years not thinking about the events that took place in the days that lead up to me taking myself to the hospital to find out our Little Boy was gone. Dave and  I watched Josephine sleep last night, waiting for her to wake for a feed. We both looked at her and expressed how sometimes it is hard to look at Josephine when she is sleeping as she looks so much like Riley. Just little things, the way her jawline falls,  her pale skin and the colour of her lips. At this point I unwrap her so that she can wake. To be able to see her smile to know that she is ours and here, that we made it through the journey of getting her here and we will be able to watch her grow an develop into  a lovely young woman. It amazes me that the last two years have flown by, so much has changed in that time. The saying "Time Heals", well two years ago I would have said whatever, n...

Last Sunday was Josephine's Blessing. It was a lovely day and we are very thankful that some family could make it. John & Kate came down, Irina flew up from Sydney for the weekend and we knew that Dave's Dad (Jeff or Grandpa) was going to be in Brisbane on Sunday so it worked perfectly that we could have some family there. David had told his Mum Evelyn to not bother coming up for it so when she was there on Sunday it was so exciting and the tears started to flow. There was three babies being blessed on Sunday and Josephine was the last, which was lucky because just before it all started she did a big poop and I had to rush out and change her. She really doesn't like to have dirty pants. Josephine wore her dress that Riley bought her and her bracelet from Rie & Mikie (my parents). It was important for me to have both Riley and my parents represented on the day, as the journey to get to this point has taken so long and without them it wouldn't have been the s...

I'm 2 months old now and look at me, I look so cute. I've started to smile more and more. I love to laugh at my Mum and Dad and my sisters. My most favourite thing is cuddles and I'm so glad that I get plenty of them around here. People keep asking who do I look like, well I think I look like me. I'll get my mum to put more photo's of me up later after I have my milk. Josephine

We now have two big girls at school. Both Monique and Poppy were super excited to be heading off to school for the first day. New uniforms, new shoes, new backpacks all ready to go. Monique is starting Yr 1, and she is lucky enough to have some of the kids from her Prep class in her Year 1 class. Her new teacher seems nice and is full of beans, exactly what you need to be when you have  twenty; six yr old in a room together. Poppy's first day at Prep was a little crazy with kids and parents all squashed into one room, everyone with questions for the teachers and children that don't want to be left. On the first day Poppy was happy to be left but every day since has been a challange. Day by day it has to get better. Why on earth does my little Poppy, that never stops talking, that is always so friendly and happy not want to be left at school. Apparently she is fine once she is sitting down but until then I have her pulling my clothes off. I'm sure the teachers and other pa...