Lead up to Riley's birthday

The days leading up to Riley's birthday are hard, I can't see it ever being easy. I can't imagine in 30 or 50 years not thinking about the events that took place in the days that lead up to me taking myself to the hospital to find out our Little Boy was gone.

Dave and  I watched Josephine sleep last night, waiting for her to wake for a feed. We both looked at her and expressed how sometimes it is hard to look at Josephine when she is sleeping as she looks so much like Riley. Just little things, the way her jawline falls,  her pale skin and the colour of her lips. At this point I unwrap her so that she can wake. To be able to see her smile to know that she is ours and here, that we made it through the journey of getting her here and we will be able to watch her grow an develop into  a lovely young woman.

It amazes me that the last two years have flown by, so much has changed in that time. The saying "Time Heals", well two years ago I would have said whatever, now I can see time does heal, it doesn't wipe away the pain, he will always be with us and part of our family but time has healed the burning hurt, the rawness and the ache to hold him in my arms when I wake each day.
Our Bears of Hope Bear


  1. Ande i love your blogs, but my heart breaks everytime i read one. You are an amazing mum and woman, so strong and brave. Your words take us through your journey as if it were our own. Bless you and your beautiful family. xxx


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