Saturday, May 12, 2012

Not only 3 girls

Today I'm sick of being nice, sick of having the comments from people about us having only 3 girls. Please don't ask me are you going to try again for a BOY. NO, NO I am not going to try for a BOY. You telling me I'm still young and I have plenty of time, you telling me of people that you know or how you yourself managed to have three of one sex and go on to have the opposite sex.
Well good for you. Do you actually know you can't choose what you are having!

I sit and bite my tongue. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. I don't want to mention my son in the fear that it will turn you away, knowing that at my daughters 5th birthday party might not be the right situation to tell you about how my baby BOY died and I long to hold him in my arms every day.
You know it would be no different for me if we have a mixture of girls and boys and then lost Riley it would still be the same . It doesn't hurt any more because he was our only Boy. Does it hurt because he was just so close to being ours in our hands and then he was gone, Yes...

When I tell you about our BOY, thank you for saying sorry and thank you for holding your child a little closer, to take that moment to know how lucky you are for having them here to hold onto, to smell, to love, to listen, talk and even yell at when they never do as they are told.

I am thankful for my three girls I never thought I would have girls, for some reason I aways thought that we would be a family filled with boys. I'm thankful that my girls are girly girls but can still get into sport with their Daddy. I'm thankful that they are mine, that they have taught me how to be a better person and make me want to be a better person every day. I'm no perfect parent, at the end of each day when I get ALL THREE OF MY GIRLS into bed I say 'Oh, that day is done and another will come tomorrow and I will try even harder'.

This life is but a short time and MY BOY will be back in my arms again along with my girls, so NO I don't have to try again to have a BOY. I have one, very special Angel Boy Riley David Cummings patiently waiting for me to hold him in my arms again.

Maybe this is all a little harder to deal with today with Mothers Day tomorrow. Happy Mothers Day to my Mum and all the Mums out there that have children to hold and children in there hearts.

3 comments:

  1. Happy Mothers Day to you Ande, may you feel your daughters kisses on your cheek, and your sons kisses in your heart. xx

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  2. So raw and real Ande. I always get the 'go again to make it 3 girls and 3 boys'. 'How clever would you be then'. In my head I roll my eyes and say to Charlotte. "you see what we have to put up with missy'. :)

    I hope there were times yesterday you felt Riley close by. xx I was thinking of you. xxx

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  3. I have just found your blog and am very touched by your posts and sharing the things that you have been through.

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I'm a stay at home mum to three beautiful girls and one angel boy which inspire me to be a better person every day. My Blog is about our life and suviving the up and downs of raising a family and the love and loss that come along for the journey.