We all wore blue ribbons in our hair - Riley's funeral

If you look in my bag you will find a blue ribbon, it is a little faded now and have some grubby marks on it. It is in the little side pocket with a zipper so I can't lose it.

You will find another in my jewellery box, this one is not so faded, it is shiny and bright baby blue. It is there for me to look and touch when I need a reminder this life is real and the bounty of blessing that I have in my life are truly for me.

Another you will find in a special blue box in my garage that holds all the precious items that were given to us for Riley.

Somewhere along the time between having Riley and his funeral it was decided that all of Riley's family would wear Blue. Riley was our first Boy, Riley was the first Grandson on David's side of the family after 8 grand daughters. We were going to make the most of Blue as we could. The men all wore Blue shirts, the women wore Blue or had a blue Ribbon in their hair.

The morning of the funeral it was hot, real hot, western Sydney 40 degree kind of hot. I didn't notice
My parents had come to get the girls dressed in new outfits, I was cleaning the house like mad. There was a bustle about the house as people dropped food off and prepared everything. We had requested that the funeral director not to send a car that we would get David's parents to take us.

As everything rushed around, I remember standing in the bathroom fully dressed ready to go, lippy and high heels on with a toothbrush in hand scrubbing the shower. In my mind I think I just had to make everything as perfect as it could be for that day, the day that I will never forget. My mum walked in on me and said 'Its OK, its going to be OK the way it is, it time to go'.

She is a wise women because although she was talking about the shower, she also knew we would be OK the way we are now.

My Mum tied the Blue Ribbon in my hair, I took a big breath and knew now it was time to leave.

David's parents drove us to the cemetery, in their new Volvo. I had not been in it before, as we drove out of our estate the feeling in the car was very sombre I don't think anyone had spoken. What do you say in that kind of situation. Well being in a Volvo I remarked 'I feel so safe' when in fact I felt the most venerable I had ever felt in my life.