The weeks are ticking by now and we are getting closer to holding you in our arms. I really can't believe that it is only weeks and those kicks that I find so much joy in will become the cuddles which I will cherish forever.
At the start of this pregnancy after Poppy had named you Sunny I saw this outfit in Pumpkin Patch which was just so Sunny that I knew I had to get it for you. I however could not bring myself to buy it, I would walk into the shop every few weeks and look at it and I would pick it up, sometimes I would even carry it around but I would always put it back thinking that it is too soon to buy it for you. It is too important to buy and then have to take back if something went wrong. I resolved that once I got to 32 weeks that I would be able to buy it for you.
We had brought so many clothes for Riley and so had my Mum, they were all washed and ironed and in his draws ready for him to come home but as we know he never came home, he never got to wear any of these clothes. The clothes stayed in the draws for months until we moved. When we moved I couldn't face packing them away for good or giving them away so they got put in bags and brought with us. A couple of months ago Dave and I sat together and went through them all, to work out what we were going to do with all these boys clothes which we no longer had a use for. I couldn't face giving them to family members and friends that have boys knowing that if I saw them on them it would be very difficult. We worked out which would be suitable for a girl to wear which there was very few and the rest I gave to my sister to sell. I couldn't sell them myself, I couldn't look at another women with all the hope in the world that her child would have all these nice new clothes that my son never got to wear. To give them to my sister to deal with and also to get them out of my house was the only option.
The money that was made from selling Riley's clothes I knew had to be used for something good, something that would bring happiness. Something for Sunny from her Brother. So last Thursday the girls and I brought Sunny her gift from her Brother, her very Sunny Pumpkin Patch dress which means so much. I cried when I brought it and had to explain to the shop assistants why this nutcase lady was crying over buying a dress. Surprisingly they were very gentle and understood as one had also experience her own loss years earlier but had never shared her experience with anyone.
Riley I hope that you approve and that you watch over your sister to bring her safely into our family. I hope that you look at your baby sister and know how much you both mean to us. I hope that you are proud of the family that you have been born into and know that you will always be a very special part of it.