Sunny Days - Get me through the day
This is Sunny at 26 weeks 6 days with her finger in front of her noseWe have made it past 25 weeks such a big milestone to be able to get this far and we are now 27 weeks today.
The last few weeks have been busy with family visiting and us travelling down to Sydney which has been a wonderful distraction. At our last ultrasound we were told that Sunny has fluid on her heart. I had luckily taken Aunty Mim with me to this appointment, how did I feel.... like it was all happening all over again. I reach out my hand to hold Aunt Mim's hand and said I can't do this again. Dave quickly came up to the hospital and thankfully we were very quickly seen by the fetal cardiologist and told that it is within 'normal' and we will not need to see him again unless there is an increase or Sunny has a Heart Murmur after birth. After this we had to wait one week to get some bloods back to make sure I didn't have some virus to cause any issues with Sunny's, heart all came back clear. Yippee...
Fetal Maternal Haemorrhage is very rare and they don't know why it happened to Riley so it is hard to know if it is gong to happen again. At the hospital I see a specialist team for Sunny, the Sonographers are fasinated to see my case as they don't get to see them often. I have been give stats like 1 in 2000 and for it to happen again is like being struck by lightning twice. These stats might seem like good odds but as they come with so much uncertainty and lack of knowledge as to why we lost Riley they mean nothing to me. Unless someone can say 100% we are going to bring Sunny home, give me a date and some facts as to why we will and not give me any facts as to why we will not then I'm not going to believe it until it happens.
Yesterday we had a great scan and all is going well and Sunny is growing as she should, there is nothing that is indicating that anything but a healthy baby is in there growing. Yeah great right then why in my head does it take me back to being pregnant with Riley at the same age and everything was fine to only weeks later to loss him. I know the build up to 31 weeks in Sunny's pregnancy is going to be hard and I can only get through it day by day. I need distractions and lots of them to get me through this. Give me a project please to save my sanity.
Now I find myself at a loss for my next goal and just looking at the end of this pregnancy and knowing I have to keep going, there is no turning back and I really have to deliver Sunny. It is a like an alarm in my head that has just gone off saying this is real.