First day of the girls back at school and although the house is a bomb I just want to take a few minutes to breath in the quite of the day. Now that minute is gone it is time to get busy, to distract my mind of the fact that we have made it to 28 weeks and the time that we lost Riley is getting closer.
My mind is full of thoughts and I find myself woken by nightmares when I sleep. Surprisingly the nightmares are not about losing Sunny but losing everything else from the kids to friends. I wake with cries at night and screaming. Dave is learning to sleep through them but I'm sure they are taking a toll on him also.
So I take myself back to my coping tactics and try and find a way to get through the days to get to the end of this pregnancy and bring Sunny Home. Keeping busy seems to be working for me and having some sort of control of my day also helps. This might sound a little OCD but I say go with that is working. I have made a list of things to keep me busy for the next 9 weeks so that I can have some focus when the crazies take hold. Being busy doesn't make them go away but it makes me feel in control of my life and more organised. I know Dave would love for me to be more organised, hopefully some of these changes will stick for the long term. I have been a messy person and unorganised person for the last 33 years, I don't hold high hopes for these to stick so be better enjoy it whilst it lasts.
It is amazing what you can get done with no one else in the house. Floors are clean, toilets done, Kitchen clean. Wow this is more like it, who would have thought I could get so much done in one day without the girls making a trail of mess in my wake.
How on earth are be going to get through the Christmas School holidays, 6 weeks.........